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April 17 • Should vs Is

Day 282


I have often contrasted my wife’s world view as living in the world of ‘should,’ with my pragmatic views based in the world of ‘is.’ I am reminded now that within these places are also the worlds of ‘honest’ and ‘not honest.’ Mixing how things ‘should be’ with honest emotions creates a world view of positive motion, even if it reflects a form of optimism that is, at times, unrealistic or unproductive. Mixing dishonest emotions into the ‘is’ existence creates a living lie that is fed by the drive for things that never were real and can never be. The way my addiction has perpetuated shades of honesty — or I should say ‘dishonesty’ — continues to be one of the most disheartening aspects of looking at myself and my behaviors and how I’ve allowed my emotions to be manipulated by artificial truths. I mean, lies.


–JR


 

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