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April 23 • Freedom Fight

Day 288

It would be easy for me right now to crawl into a dark hole of my spirit and relinquish any claim to freedom. My guilt and shame calls me to submit to anyone who knows, and to defer everything to them in exchange for whatever grace they may afford me. But my heart tells me that this is wrong, that this is my addict brain trying to beat me back down into a place where acting out is the only resolve of that sort of loneliness. Freedom requires truth and transparency and strength; perhaps more of each than I can muster. Isolation requires only non-truths and cowardice. I must choose freedom, even when it is most difficult. Not so much because freedom is nice and preferable, but because the alternative is death, in many possible fashions.




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