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August 27 • The Sour of Power

Day 414

Was there a time when I was ever 'normal'? A time when my fantasies and behaviors were somewhere on the clinical and social arc of acceptability? It would be nice to know where that line might be so I could compare the normal me to whatever I am now.

I recall being aware of the relationship between power and sexual dynamics during my political forays early in my career, mostly from observing active abusers, but it also entered into my own mental struggles back then.

I hadn't thought about it before, but I'm connecting the dots between my addict's remarkable power and the presumption that I had to fight power with power. Fighting by letting go is still a new real-world concept for me, despite having preached that sermon many times.

Maybe I'm finally listening.



Love never did come easy

Even the best of dreams must end

Even so it grieves me

Stay loose, don't fight it

Let it take you all the way and

If it's wrong, you will right it

–Gordon Lightfoot, ”Stay Loose"



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