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January 07 • Lying Fool

Day 182

The lies I told—to myself and others—during my acting-out were surreal. The lies I've confessed to in disclosure and since, and those that linger, are devastating; not in the details of things that happened as much as just further evidence that I am a liar. All my life, my reputation in business and the faith-based community has been as an above-average honest person... until now.

This is not a comment on my image or reputation. This is an acknowledgment to myself that I've lied so easily about little things for so many years, that lying about the big things like other women and massage parlors, was easy. Not only do I have to rebuild the relationships that I have damaged by my deceits, but I must rebuild what I think of myself. This cannot continue.




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