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July 02 • Rule Makers and Breakers

Day 724

Some parts of the 12 Step program still make me nuts. Why this? Why that? Why not now?

I used to think that this was just the product of a de-centralized cultish organization that couldn't do any better. Every day now, I learn that much of the program's wisdom and success is in the way it points us toward recovery without depriving us of the creativity and work of figuring it out for our unique circumstances. In the safety of the liturgical beginnings of the meetings, we find ourselves being grounded and re-grounded in our similarities as our Higher Power prepares us to learn through the group conversation to come.

And what's up with the crosstalk prohibitions? Why can't I tell the guy across the room that what he just said was full of crap? Because usually, what's happened is that the next share or the one after that will put a little different spin on the topic that makes me consider that I'm the one full of crap. My reaction to what is said says more to my soul than the satisfaction I would get by being the smartest addict in the room.

In this morning's meeting, we started our check-in early because everyone had their say on a good topic. One of the guys interjected that he could really use some feedback on what he had earlier shared if it was okay with the group. It was, and we each contributed further to a renewed sense of community because this one member had the courage to ask for more in the unique circumstances of our meeting.

There are probably those who would express disappointment that we broke the crosstalk boundary, and others may attend meetings that regularly participate in more give and take within their gatherings. For me, that's one of the benefits of attending different meetings. Getting to experience the variety of group consciousness in this most unexpected and rewarding fellowship is a gift to this addict.

I thank you all for both your rigidity and your ability to flex when needed... er, I mean, I am thankful for my fellow addicts for both their rigidity and their ability to flex when needed, and to keep the crosstalk to a minimum.




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