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July 18 • I.So.Late

Day 374

Isolation still seems to be as big a temptation for me as anything sexual. I feel this is my biggest battle on-going. Winning that battle also appears to be the best defense against those wrong things in my sexual brain when I am overdosing on isolation and the fantasy that generally accompanies being by my mental self.

I've been hit several times recently with the concept that connectedness is the solution to addiction (as much as there is a "solution"), not just getting control of behaviors. I do see confirmations of that in my own life, even as I'm drawn to isolate, seemingly mostly innocently. I'm not too fond of the idea that I can never spend time alone. I do not think the reality is that extreme, but questioning why I want that, and examining what I do when I am alone is not only reasonable, it is necessary.




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