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July 19 • Promises Coming True?

Day 375

Since I started working on Step Four, I've begun to be aware of a spiritual awakening, even a sense of happy that I've not remembered for a long time. That doesn't mean I've "arrived" or that I'm approaching curative results, it just means, I think, that I am facing my demons, and they are backing down.

It's probably more accurate to say that they — be they demons or my addictions — are regrouping, trying to find another way to storm the castle. In the last 24 hours, I have admitted things in my Step Four that feel have the power to lift burdens I've carried for many, many years. To my simple mind, this clarity seems almost too easy if it wasn't for all the hard work up to this point. And again, there is no "arrived" here, just another recognition of the promises for someone who did not believe them but clung to them like a man in concrete shoes clinging to a styrofoam life preserver.

I have actually had thoughts in recent days that I'm not a bad person just because I've made mistakes; that I'm not failing my wife just because I can't fix her computer; that I might be on a path that can not only save me from my disease but also take me somewhere that I will enjoy being.

I am completing Step Five today, on my 375th day of sobriety from my inner circle behaviors.



I promised you a miracle

Belief is a beauty thing

Promises promises

As golden days break wondering

Chance reflects on them a while

Love screams so quietly

–Simple Minds, ”Promised You a Miracle"



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