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July 22 • Looking for Balance

Day 378

As I committed to recovery, but before I started making a lot of progress through the steps, I found it easy to forgo the extra work responsibilities that often had me working late hours or interrupting family time with some 'urgent' task. The drive to put personal and family first was my urgency and was almost always an easy choice.

As I improve, as I move toward more balance, I find it easy to slip back into the "...it's work, and it has to get done..." thinking. I do not want to be that which I was, even if it was not a direct part of acting-out. I spent so much time on the slippery slopes of addiction that it's nearly impossible to separate it from other aspects of my life. Writing, reading, going to meetings, and talking to my fellows is helping me a great deal to find that better balance. Talking and listening and being intimate with my wife keeps me wanting to be better than I've ever been at being present and just being a good person.

It seems like it should be easy — I want it to be — but old habits die hard, even the ones that are just stupid.




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