Day 744
Stuart Smalley would often come into my living room on Saturday nights and remind me,
"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!" –SNL
It was funny, but I never got it. I've never been a big fan of affirmations, as it feels like I'm trying to convince myself of something.
Duh!
I would still rather be able to push a button to fix me than do things like 12 Steps and talking to myself, but I've learned not to be so quick to judge the experience of others in dealing with sexual addiction. I am not an expert on this stuff, and would just as soon not become one; I've already experienced way more pain as an addict than I can fathom.
I'm still not a big fan of affirmations. I still do not often use them, but I do hear them happening in various places, from SAA meetings to music on the radio...
I just realized that this is a little silly, this resistance of mine. For many years I told myself multiple times a day what a piece of crap I am, and I grew to believe that and act on it.
That doesn't mean I will suddenly start quoting Mr. Smalley morning, noon, and evening. Like so many 'moments' in recovery, maybe I'm hearing myself say that I need to be willing to do some things that I don't understand before I can get some of the results I see in other addicts that are walking the way I want to walk.
I'm working on it.
–JR
I've been workin' on, workin' on it
Workin' on, workin' on
Tryna be good to me
I should give myself way more love
I'm my worst enemy
I'm the voice who says "I'm not good enough"
–Meghan Trainor, “Workin' On It”
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