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March 10 • Do I Have a Dream?

Day 244


I read today that there is an important place in recovery for paying attention to our dreams. This idea is unexpected, but also kind of 'duh.' Of course, there is a vast distinction between dreams and fantasy.


I'm also a bit shaken that this is a moment of clarity for me. Is it possible that I stopped dreaming and aspiring long ago because I could not — or did not — recognize the difference between that imaginative kind of positive thinking and living in the destructive world of objectification? That makes too much sense.


We are told that common goals are critical to a good marriage, so perhaps re-learning that dreams are good things — that imagining a better real-world life is as important a lesson as learning to say 'no' to my addict. Is that easier said than done, or is it a simple decision? I am eager to know.


I must also admit to a pit in my stomach, thinking about actively pursuing dreams. It's as if it's another form of pressure on me. That may be because all I can think of right now is helping achieve someone else's dreams.


I need to think about reaching a better place without coloring outside the lines of my program.


–JR

 

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