Day 325
Laughing is necessary for me. I've always had the ability to engage in gallows humor, or make fun of myself in tough situations. This sex thing has been a little different because so many people around me do not find any reason to smile about this, even those who are supporting me.
People that feel free to make light of alcoholics — even in a non-offensive way — will not go near the topic of sex addiction unless it's with the satisfying disgust of watching a pedophile jump from a tall building. And the people in my life who know get very uncomfortable around me when a comedian is telling sexually-oriented jokes, the same ones we used to enjoy together.
On the other hand, I do share puns and jokes with myself frequently. In Step meetings, there is often laughter at the truths that come out, often unintentionally, through the balm of humor.
I have no expectation of ever having that freedom again, except with other addicts. That's okay. That's a legitimate consequence with which I can deal. I just feel bad for the people who have lost a source of humor in human behaviors that really can be pretty stupidly funny.
–JR
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