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October 03 • Solotuding

Day 451

I found myself alone for a couple of days this week. It has been a while since I've had more than an hour or two by myself. My response to being alone surprised me. I was lonely.

I have missed my wife when we're apart without being lonely, but this week it was both, and it was uncomfortable. It was not triggering at all, it was just a challenge to stay focused on the many things on my todo list, and I did not do that very well. I gravitated to projects I could finish, physical tasks with a beginning and end.

The significance of this experience is unclear to me, but it did highlight the difference between isolation and solitude or loneliness. I did okay. It was good, and it will continue getting better.

While I do not think it's okay if I seek out isolation, solitude is not bad. Loneliness usually involves missing someone, and there's a positive aspect to that in that there is someone to miss. I think this was a good week.



I am alone a lot, I see this as my weakness

I am embarrassed of my solo, I don't know why

I don't want people to know how much time I spend alone

Time I spend alone, time I spend alone, time I spend alone

–Cherry Glazerr, ”Self Explained"



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