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September 01 • I'm Listening...

Day 785

A few days ago, I ventured into the Facebook advertising world with a post on current politics and its connection to my sexual addiction. I just wanted to see how many additional views I could get on my website with a $10 investment in sponsored placement. A couple of people reacted with laughing emoticons.

I was devastated.

The post itself (Shoot The Moon) was not significant as a work of literature or even a profound statement that could change anything. It was just some random thoughts that crossed my mind and seemed worthy of sharing.

So why did those people laugh at me? I mean, at it... They don't even know who I am, so how could they have meant it personally? Yet, I'm sure they did.

Maybe they were just laughing at the photo that was featured with the post, an apparent view of an explosion on the surface of the moon? I don't know why that would be funny, but I like that idea better than thinking they're laughing at my words.

I read and re-read the post looking for something that could have sounded intentionally funny, but I could not get past the deep personal meaning for this particular pontification. I clicked on the names that popped-up when hovering over the laughing faces to see what kind of people their social media profiles might reveal. Again, nothing.

As I'm re-examining both the post and my reaction to the reactions, I remembered an old episode of Frasier when Dr. Crane watches a focus group talking about and analyzing his radio show. Eleven out of twelve of the group loved the show, and Dr. Crane, but one guy was not swayed. He was polite but made it clear that he did not like the radio shrink or his program. The rest of the show is about Frazier trying to get answers from the guy about why he is not a fan.

In the course of explaining why he is obsessing about this one voice of criticism, Frazier first explains that it's all about learning from his critics. Then he concedes:

"I suppose my negative baggage is just a pound or two over the weight limit." **

The first time I saw that episode in 1996, I laughed so hard I cried, or maybe it was the other way around. To see this defect of mine portrayed so eloquently by such a skilled actor was both encouraging and humiliating, or maybe that was the other way around.

I'm still trying to come to terms with what this psycho-weakness of mine means in my addiction. Still, like so many of these discoveries, there is comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one that suffers and laughs in the vice-grips of absurdity, or maybe insanity.

I guess that's why I always have to pay extra for my overweight luggage when flying the turbulent skies of Johnny Rēco.


** Frazier

Season 3, Episode 23

The Focus Group


Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin',

Tossed salad and scrambled eggs


And maybe I seem a bit confused,

Yeah maybe, but I got you pegged!

But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

–Kelsey Grammer, “Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs (Frasier Theme Song)”



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