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September 10 • Rocky Ripple

Day 428

The 'rock bottom' that all addicts must hit before recovery seems to have many different faces. Some involve jail, embarrassment, job loss, family loss, and many more horrible landings. I feel fortunate that — so far — my rock bottom was realizing the reality of my helplessness.

My wake-up call was my self-destruction that I kept escaping unscathed. I couldn't even aim the metaphorical gun in the right direction, as if my addict needed me alive against my will. I now believe it more likely that my Higher Power wanted me to live, but that's mostly my preference, not my certainty.

Even before I hit that bedrock, I was accepted by the community of sex addicts, even though they knew I was not there yet, not ready for recovery. They threw me a lifeline and said, "When you're ready, we're here." They were ready long before I was there.

I thought I was fooling them; then, I realized they were just gracious and caring. Most of those addicts had been where I was. Compared to their circumstances, I am blessed that I still have a life, a wife, a family, a job, and my freedom.

I have the tools and support and love to make any choice I want now, and I will make good choices, not perfect choices, but better than I've managed in the past. I must do this because I want to live and be a good man.

Meanwhile, the investment of others who still believe in me is turning from a self-allowed burden to a gentle incentive. Thank you, God!



I'm doing the best that I can

I've got to admit it's getting better (Better)

A little better all the time (It can't get no worse)

I have to admit it's getting better (Better)

It's getting better

–The Beatles, ”Getting Better"



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