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September 21 • Gentle on My Self

Day 439


A couple of days ago, I received some bad news, an extra consequence of my acting out, that was hard to hear. I immediately called my sponsor and another advisor. Of all the counsel they offered, the oddest — I thought — was, "Be gentle with yourself."


I guess I've heard that admonition in meetings, but it's the first time I've had it told to me directly. I didn't understand it, and I didn't heed it. I spent two days beating myself up and fretting about how I was going to tell my wife.


For some reason, I woke up this morning intending to face it for what it is. I was ready to share with my wife, even though I didn't know that until she asked. Between her gracious expressions of love and my coming to terms that I could not change things, it was a good conversation, and a healthy step for me.


I don't have a lot of experience being gentle with myself, but now I have some more.


–JR

 


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