August 23 • Waiting for the Future

Day 410 I began slowing down when I was acting out; I thought that would help me get control of my life, but as much as anything, it just gave me more time to fantasize and make destructive plans. Now that time is consumed with recovery, in-depth conversations with my wife, and doing the best I can do with my job. It concerns me at times that I've become so self-centric with my inward and historical explorations, but I know this is a season of necessity, so I choose not to over-think that. But, there are moments when I think about the time when I will begin having more time. What will I do with it? Will I "practice these principles..." and share my learnings with others, or will I find new purpose in some avocation? Perhaps I will just stay focused on being healthy, so when life and my Higher Power bring those things that need my care and experience, I will be ready to help wherever I can. –JR