December 30 • Balancing

Day 174 The combination of 'faith' and 'doubt' as tools and sometimes obstacles in my recovery is an odd mix. Faith that things will get better is a big part of recovery (otherwise, why would we try), but having too much faith in my progress can also be a trap that excuses not doing the work that I know is necessary for my sobriety. Doubting my ability to be honest and persistent is depressing and debilitating; working to prove those doubts wrong is motivating. How many times have I talked about balance? How many times have I failed to rest in the comfort of balance? How many more times can I live and breathe in the fringes of balance before I fall down from fatigue. Let's not find out. Not today. – JR I fell to the bottom I could not see the top To reach what was hidden I had to balance on loose rocks –Hear the Sea, "Balancing On Loose Rocks"