June 03 • Boundaries, Borders, Balance
Day 329 Having boundaries is one of those things that I’ve encouraged for other people many times, but have never really felt compelled to exercise myself. Maybe it was because I didn’t think my opinions about such things were valuable. It may have been because I was arrogant enough to think I needed no boundaries; I could do whatever people needed me to do, so why not leave the door open all the time? Either way, I have a history of being way out of balance in letting others decide my daily directions. I don’t know that I’m doing a lot of work on that right now, but I have had a few occasions when I did lay down a boundary, or maybe just didn’t cross one, and I have noticed those self-affirming moments that I did not expect. I’m reluctant to call it a new sense of self-respect, but I can see where it could become that. There is also a risk of this becoming a self-centered path that could disrespect others around me, so — again — it’s about that mysterious balance in all areas of recovery. Except, there is no balance between acting out and recovery; there is only recovery. It may be laced with slips and failures, but therein lies the balance within the constant of the recovery commitment. –JR