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May 25 • Not Good at What I'm Good

Day 320

All my life, I have been acutely aware of the importance of celebration and generosity; all my life, I have not been particularly good at either. Whether this is indicative of an addictive brain, I have no idea. Still, it seems reasonable that it's just another of the many contradictions and counterintuitive juxtapositions that have come to light during recovery.

Emma Goldman, the famous anarchist, lived a life that was driven and contextualized by a radical and even dangerous brand of anarchy, which is dominated by belief in a lack of controls on society, including politics, economics, and sexual mores. Yet, she had famous

moments of gentleness and caring for individuals in the midst of disdaining authority. There is another contradictory metaphor in there somewhere. For me, I will try to focus more on being generous in spirit and resources, and will, through that, attempt to be more open to the world's needs beyond my own addictive eyes and thoughts.




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