January 02 • Tie One On For Me

Day 542 There must be people out there that would hate me if they knew what I've done in my acting out. However, I haven't met any of them yet. The grace and forgiveness and even support from everyone with whom I have shared my failures leave me dumbfounded. When I considered the relative merits of 'getting caught' vs. confessing, I could see no difference in the likely outcome; life as I knew it was over, and very possibly life itself. And apparently, that's a pretty common fear that keeps addicts from doing what it takes to get sober. I know this fortune is not universal — some people's lives have been thoroughly turned upside down regardless of how the truth became known — but a lot of them have had the same experience as I have had. Love. Grace. Forgiveness. Second chances. I did nothing to earn that reaction, but respecting these gifts from others is sometimes a significant factor in my determination to stay sober. At least for today... –JR