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August 15 • eBalance

Day 768

I just bought two bicycles as anniversary presents for my wife and me. It was a big deal. I did it without getting my wife's 'approval' on either the purchase or the style, and I spent more money than I have ever spent on 'unauthorized' acquisitions. These are electric-assist units; not quite motorcycles but enough power and gizmos to make an old geek happy.

Some of the most surprisingly good times that we've shared over the years have been on similar rental vehicles, all of which I pretty much had to convince her to try. It started with scooters in Cancun on our honeymoon and included spins around another half dozen tourist spots, and most recently, our first e-bike rental rides along on a popular walking and biking trail near our home. And that's not counting the dozen years of having a motorcycle; she loved riding with me but never wanted her own.

So, I got the bug and spent several hours researching what we could afford that we could be happy with, and then I stumbled across some forgotten frequent-flier miles that could be applied to e-bikes, so I was off and running. Or riding.

It was a big deal, a big risk for me, because of how much I need my wife's approval. I'll not debate whether that is a good thing or a co-dependant problem to solve; it just is what it is and what it's been for decades. So if she didn't like the bikes I chose or the money I reallocated, then it was going to be a bad day (whether it should have been or not).

The connection I'm making to my recovery is that it required self-confidence in my independent acting that has not been part of my norm. I did not do it defiantly or from any purely selfish place; I just thought this was something we needed for exercise and shared adventures, so I did it. It seems like a no-brainer, and I had no anxiety about it, other than hoping we liked the particular model I purchased.

As I unpacked the first one, it suddenly struck me how out of character this was for me, and in a good way.

This thing is not a big deal; it's a bicycle. And that's the way it should be. This is not a life-changing thing, but it may be another indicator that I am changing in my life. And that's a good thing.



I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle, bicycle

(I want a) bicycle race

You say coke, I say 'caine

You say John, I say Wayne

–Queen, “Bicycle Race”



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