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December 28 • UN-Forgiving

Day 172

Many years ago, I was deeply hurt. Beyond my ability to express or explain now, my heart was crushed and my hopes for the future were ripped from my reach. At least that's how I felt and what I accepted to be true.

Looking back, I believe I confused forgiveness with healing; it was more important for me to act healed than to genuinely take healing steps. I wanted so much to forgive and do the right things that I never really focused on healing. I pushed the pain down, dealt with the periodic eruptions by giving in more and more to my addictions, and just gutted it out until my pain overwhelmed me.

Healing must happen; I can hide un-forgiveness for only so long...



So you think that it's over?

So you think that it's done?

The fields of unforgiveness never die, they've just began

You thought you'd elude life's sorrow, emptiness and grief

–Black Label Society, "Fields Of Unforgiveness"


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